Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have fence marks all over my body
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
