i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
