Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
