I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
