That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
