my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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