Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
