you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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