he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
