I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
