I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
