i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
