He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just cropdusted the office
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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