physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
