You're so nebulous sometimes
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
