I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
