I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
