Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
