you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
