At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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