Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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