If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
