why didn't you poke me back
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
