meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
