There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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