Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
