it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
