I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
