Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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