Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
