I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
