So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
