Duck Duck Cougar?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
