so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
