went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
