seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
