My hand turned me down
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
