Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
