I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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