There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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