Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
