I skipped work to stalk him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
