Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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