You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
