hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
