I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
