Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kissed a someone with a penis
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
