dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
