i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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