jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
