I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
