Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
