Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
