at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
