Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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