I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
