I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
